Bands entertain audiences with their lyrics and musical abilities, and groupies entertain bands with....well....other abilities. Some groupies have even become as famous, or infamous, as the bands and musicians they've seduced. And, apparently, what goes on in hotel rooms doesn't stay in hotel rooms, because musicians often kiss and tell in their song lyrics about the groupies who've rocked their world. These are a few of those songs by loose musicians with even looser lips.
"We're an American Band" - Grand Funk
This song's party hardy lyrics and music were penned by Grand Funk drummer Don Brewer, whose manager suggested he write about something the band was familiar with: life on the road. And that life was filled with groupies galore. Brewer didn't generalize to protect the guilty--the song's lyrics are about specific women and events. "Four young chiquitas from Omaha/Was waiting for the band to return from the show/...They said come on dudes/Let's get it on," refers to four groupies who were already waiting for carnal antics in an Omaha hotel lobby when the band checked in. And the lyrics, "Sweet, Sweet Connie was doin' her act," refers to legendary Arkansas groupie, "Sweet" Connie Hamzy, who had romped with Brewer, John Bonham, Keith Moon and Bill Clinton, among many others.
"Star Star" - The Rolling Stones
If anyone has an encyclopedic knowledge of groupies, it's Mick Jagger. This song's title, which was also in the lyrics of its chorus, was originally "Starf*cker," a slang term for a groupie, before Atlantic Records demanded that the band change it. One of the most graphic songs the Stones ever recorded, the decadent lyrics are about cans of foam, oral sex, sex acts with fruit (that's one way to get your vitamin C!) and Polaroids, among other things. When Jagger sings the lyrics, "Honey, I'm open to anything/I don't know where to draw the line," he isn't kidding!
"Plaster Caster" - KISS
Bassist Gene Simmons, who boasts of encounters with thousands of groupies, wrote the music and lyrics to this song about how hard life on the road is. And by "hard," I don't mean "difficult." The lyrics pay tribute, as only Simmons can, to supergroupie Cynthia Albritton, "professionally" known as Cynthia Plaster Caster. Using a unique method of meeting rock stars, Cynthia would offer to make a plaster mold of their, uh, instruments. As always, Simmons substitutes the word "love" for his you-know-what in the lyrics: "The plaster's getting' harder/And my love is perfection/A token of my love for her collection." Contrary to the sound of the lyrics, none of the KISS members' members were ever cast by Cynthia.
"Whole Lotta Rosie" - AC/DC
Late AC/DC singer Bon Scott was into large ladies--literally. The Rosie mentioned in the lyrics was the real name of a large groupie he supposedly had amazing sex with. The lyrics refer to her generous proportions as 42"-39"-56" and say, "Ain't no fairy story/Ain't no skin and bone/But you give it all you got/Weighing in at nineteen stone," which equals about 266 pounds. Despite an ongoing search for the real Rosie, she has never been found.
With groupies, the performance goes on even after the show is over. In their pursuit of pleasure, they've also spiced up life on the road for those bands, and inspired them to write some of their best and most memorable tunes and lyrics.
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